And then I dragged myself to the gym and went through the motions. But going through the motions had meaning. It was about keeping on. A friend I was helping a bit get set up with some heavy reps probably didn't have a clue about was I was saying when I told him I was too tired to do much, but getting my arse to the gym was more a mental thing.
Something recently is sinking through. That I've got to toughen up, not have fun or enjoy myself, but just do the things I know will move me toward where I want to be and just do them.
And I think not drinking is helping. Ok, ok, it's only been a week, but I felt it last time I didn't have a beer for a week and even more the 38 days I was off from the end of June. There's something so soft, so inviting, so seductive in the call of the alcohol and it makes me lazy. I'm wondering if this is why they say alcohol was the downfall of the American Indian. I wonder if they were too hungover to fight or if they just gave up in despair at what was happening to their homeland and lifestyles. I don't know but it couldn't have helped.
Anyhow, off on a track there. Well, today I put that determination to work again. Didn't make it to the gym as planned in the a.m. but took my stuff with me anyhow and got on the train and went to another gym near work for an extended lunchbreak. Wasn't able to do much but jog 3K and do some abs and a few sets of squats, but it was something, it was a LOT more than I would have done sitting in the office. And it only took half an hour longer than a lunch break. Hope no one noticed.
Ah, a good day. Two good days. Brought to me thanks to hard work and determination. Tooth and claw. Sometimes, probably more often than not, that's probably the only way I'm going to drag me home something worthwhile. Well, whatever it takes...
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