fun stuff....

Morning here yet I am not rested at all. Horrible tossing and turning and bad dreams, something I rarely have anymore. I am wondering if it's this new allergy medicine I'm taking or just my normal cauldron of worries brewing while I'm trying to asleep. Horrible stuff, not horror-movie stuff, worse, because it was real or could have been real. Not being able to make a phone call I had to make, running away from my father because he wouldn't let me do what I wanted desperately to (oh, wow, throwback to childhood that), finally getting to the riding club but still not being able to communicate with the people about riding, being asked to work when I had no intention of working and no one had told me they were going to ask me. I know it doesn't sound horrible but it was, the emotion involved was one of utter frustration and a stifling of the self.
Could this be at all related to not drinking? I doubt it. I wasn't drinking THAT much and only (correct word?) a few times a week, but in quantity when.
No, I think it's work. Work is horrible and that's why I was drinking more and more. Now, without the alcohol to take the edge off and wake up the next morning just trying to get past the hangover, I am being confronted by the true pains and the emotions. I guess this is what people talk about when they talk about having to deal with all that when the drinking stops. Fun stuff, this.